Intramural Badminton is Ursinus College’s most important sport now

This story is part of a satire issue for the week of April Fools. 

Taylor Schaeffer


Badminton season heats up as the intramural season reaches its peak. Teams are gearing up for a grueling and competitive season with only one goal in mind: winning a championship.

Teams are flooding the field house as the most competitive intramural season kicks off its highly coveted season. Finally the wait for badminton action is over and teams are ferociously at each other’s necks. For all teams involved there is one goal in mind and one goal only, to win an intermural championship and claim their rightful spot on top of the other Collegeville area badminton competitors.

However, doing so won’t be that easy this year. The field looks extremely competitive and teams are gearing up for a tremendously intense season. Nonetheless, each and every team seems confident in their ability to knock the next off. Unfortunately, confidence can only get you so far in this league. Without the athleticism to back it up, it will be a long season.

Together, junior teammates Alec Vera and Grace LaDelfa share similar expectations as they take on the competition together.

Vera said, “I have experience from high school which I believe will help me carry my team very far this season.”

Meanwhile LaDelfa added, “Our one and only goal is to dominate every team [that] we come across on the court.”

The teammates hope to use their physical attributes to knock out the competition. Vera said, “We certainly have the height advantage . . . hopefully we can use that to our advantage by creating good angles on our returns.”

It’s unclear whether or not height is even an advantage in badminton, but it sounds like the two are banking on that. The badminton pair has confidence in spades, however they do acknowledge that walking away with the title isn’t going to be a cake walk.

LaDelfa said, “Our biggest challenge will be the sheer amount of teams we will have to face along the way . . .  there are about 30 something teams participating this season and winning it all will be a war of attrition.”

However, the twosome seem unaffected as LaDelfa stated assuredly, “If I were you, I would put your money on us.”

The season is still young and anything is possible in a sport as unpredictable as badminton. What we know for sure though is that nothing will be handed over to these determined teams, it must be earned. There will be ups and downs, sorrow, and elation. But when the dust settles, only one pair will be able to call themselves the true champions of the Ursinus College Intramural Badminton League.

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